An Open Epistle to Tim Gunn

Dear Tim Gunn,

The whole world adores you and we do too. "Make it work", "where's Andre?" and all that. Wonderful. Young designers need your dryly-delivered common sense. You deserve your own TV show.

We've been reading your book, A Guide to Quality, Taste & Style (co-written with Kate Moloney). It's got a lot of cute drawings (mostly of dresses), some great blurbs (Nina Garcia? Wow!), advice for lots of different body types (short-waisted with long legs, you have a bit of a tummy, etc.) and some validating insights into current fashions (we hate flip flops too!)

Your book seems to have just about everything, in fact.  Except one thing: ADVICE FOR MEN!

What were you thinking, Tim Gunn? Do men not crave quality, thirst for taste, and - let's face it - urgently need some guidance on style? Why have you ignored half of your species?

We have never met you, Tim Gunn, but we are going to go way out on a limb and do a little psychoanalysis based on the little we've read about you. You say you're a workaholic and haven't had a relationship in years. You wear pretty much the same old rags in every episode of Runway (turtleneck, conservative button down shirt, we forget what else, it was all forgettable). Like that other blah-dresser Michael Kors (how ironic! a designer!), you seem to want to appear as inoffensive and inconspicuous as possible.

Could it be, Tim, that you are an old-school gay, a basically conservative guy working in a very gay field who is still a little scared that someone will point their finger at you and laugh? On the inside, you are wearing a tutu, on the outside, a dark blazer. If you were to write about men's fashion, people would perceive you sizing up other men and - ay dios mio! - figure out that you really do like guys!

Look, we wish you all the best. We hope you sell a gazillion books, make lots of money, and unexpectedly meet the love of your life while you're filming for "Tim Gunn's Guide to Style". To that end, here's a bit of unsolicited style advice (from a blogger wearing his pj's) that will do so much more for you than you could ever imagine: break free! Try wearing a neon green shirt/a bolo tie/velvet hot pants. Indulge your silliest fantasy! We don't care if it's in bad taste. We will forgive you. We will love you, nay, respect you, so very much more. Try it, and watch what happens.

affectionately,

Stylelist